Location: A meeting room at the London Evening Standard
HR Manager: We’ve used name-blind shortlisting and come up with these four candidates, sir
Proprietor: (reviews the CVs) Not excited by any of them, Susan. Career journalists, all of them. You know I like you to throw a wild-card candidate in. Let me see the other CVs
HR Manager: But sir, none of them meet the spec we agreed.
Proprietor: Give me them anyway (goes through each CV in about 15 seconds) Nah…Nah…Nah…oh wait. This one’s interesting. Lives in Cheshire…never worked in journalism…sacked from his last job…
HR Manager: yes, we always get the odd idiot who puts in a CV without reading the job spec. Usually it’s to convince the Job Centre that they are still actively seeking work, to protect their benefits.
Proprietor: Let’s see him anyway
HR Manager: But…(realises it is useless to protest and goes off to arrange interviews)
Location: The same room, a week later
HR Manager: Thank you for coming in, Mr Osborne. I wonder if you could talk us through your CV
George Osborne: Well, I’ve done lots of things, I’ve been Chancellor of the Exchequer
HR Manager: I was thinking about relevant experience for the job
George Osborne: I always wanted to be a journalist, I just never got the breaks
Proprietor: (beaming) We’re always trying to encourage new talent at this paper
HR Manager: So what do you know about London issues?
George Osborne: Well I do visit a lot, it’s only a couple of hours from Cheshire. And you get a nice view of Wembley as you’re coming in on the train.
HR Manager: Yes, this other job you do, MP isn’t it? How much notice do you need to give?
George Osborne: I was planning on carrying it on. The advert said you promote flexible working arrangements
Proprietor: You’re right – Susan here (he nods towards the HR Manager) is always telling me that we should be doing more about this flexible working stuff. Attracts millennials apparently.
HR Manager: Well, thanks for coming in, Mr Osborne, we’ll be in touch in the next week or so
(After the candidate has left)
HR Manager: Well, he was useless. No experience, no local knowledge, kept name-dropping his ‘contacts’, thinks he can do the role part-time to keep his second job.
Proprietor: I liked him. Offer him the job